1751Another of my paintings.  I love yellow, and I love ladybugs.

Off and on most of the day, I have stared a my computer screen trying to create this movie in my mind involving my character’s actions.  I was trying to dig up all the painful emotions I experienced when we had to sort out and get rid of my deceased sister’s possessions.  We have lost three of our sisters to cancer.  The youngest, the oldest and a middle sister.  There used to be six of us.

Every time I would start to let that old anguish surface in my memory, I would shove it back down not want to deal with it today.  It doesn’t matter how long ago any of my sisters died, that painful loss never completely goes away.  We were close.  Yeah, we fought amongst ourselves like the proverbial cats and dogs.  But you let an outsider say something against one of us or our family, then we became like a pack of rabid attack dogs ready to a fight.  Anyway, today was not the day to bring up those painful memories, let along write them down.  Tomorrow will be better.  We have come to terms with their deaths, but we don’t forget them and how much they are missed.

If you really want to know about us, read our novels.  We are in each word in each book.  Some of the things that happen in our novels are true.  Granted, most of what we write is fiction, but I believe each writer draws from their own life’s experiences, their emotional reactions and memories.  How could we not.   Each character is made up of a combination of either people we know or have met.  We don’t live in a vacuum.  If we did, we’d never write a word.  That old saying ‘Write what you know’ is true.  So people, keep writing.  Put your heart and soul in your work and you can’t lose.

Tomorrow, I hope I can write more words than I did today.  Until we talk again, take care of yourselves and be safe.

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