Every year at Christmas my sister and niece receive a list of names of children and their parent from the domestic violence shelter here in town. Every child’s name, clothes size, shoe size and what they want for Christmas is listed. Each year my sister, her church and friends donate the money to buy every item on that list for each child. As both my sister and niece worked and retired from a large named department store and receive an employee’s discount, they are able to buy most items at a reasonable price. Once the items for the children are purchased, then they buy for the parent and the shelter. This year the list contained twelve children and their mothers. I am happy to say they have fulfilled the Christmas needs for each child and their mother. The three of us spent the day wrapping those presents and labeling them with the child’s name. We hope that Christmas this year for these children will be wonderful and pray that life will get better for them soon.
I can honestly say I understand what those children have gone through. My father drank, and when he did, he was abusive to my mother. I do not recall him ever hitting us, but he and my mother fought until she divorced him. What makes a man or woman think they have the right to abuse another person, woman or child? They don’t. All states should have a law that if a restraining order is issued on a man or woman and there is a history of domestic violence, that person should go to jail. That probably will never happen, but we can hope.
Something like violence stays in the memory of a child. That song which say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger is true in many ways. When I married my husband, I told him if he ever hit, I’d wait until he went to sleep and kill him. He never hit me but was verbally abusive. The day I left him, I was trying to figure out how to kill him and get away with it. Then, I realized he wasn’t worth my going to prison. Besides, I don’t look good in orange or stripes. So with two dollars to my name, I left and never looked back. I found that if I wrote about the things I was thinking and feeling, it helped me to heal.
I suppose in some ways I owe him for my writing books. I was still married when I first got the ideas for CREATING KATHRYN CROWN. I wanted to be someone else and reside anywhere but where I was. I longed for amnesia to forget my mental pain of being told every day that he didn’t love me, that I was useless and a waste of his time. So I created a story that fit my longing. Now in my books, I kill off those abusers and any person who harms children. Read THE HANGMAN and you’ll see what I do to child abusers. I have plans for a book dealing with animal abusers. I guess I have a dark side on paper when in real life, I hate to even kill a bug.
My how the time flies. It is almost midnight and I am tired. So everyone have a great Sunday and stay safe. Remember: NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER SURRENDER.